dearest...

10:21pm: Seriously....
I have a lot to think about the next couple of days. My trip to El Paso will be exciting, I can't wait to see my family! I miss my siblings so much, I might try to smuggle them into my suitcases and bring them back with me.

Sometimes trying to decide certain things is stupid... I hate emotions.

Wish me luck!

1:07am: para te tomas
So Im sitting here listening to The Clash and I miss them. After the last few months I get heart broken listening to them. It's not really because of the punk rock boy who isnt around anymore, its just the fact that my life has changes so much since then. I started dating someone else who is great and makes me happy but I can't help but feel like I'm losing part of myself.

I wish I knew exactly how I felt but everything is always changing.

I can't wait to go to El Paso in June.

7:05am: 6 am
Still at work, not busy right now but then again the only people who will call in are people over seas.
Everything is going surprisingly well for me at this point. Deciding not to move back to EP was a good choice, if only I could move my family up here. :(
I got a promotion at work, I won't be taking calls anymore instead I will be mentoring people and doing other shit like that. I am happy cause I will get paid more and the shift I will work isn't before the sun rises. Yay!
I'm saving money to get a car and I'm excited. It's time.
I thought I wanted to say more in this but I don't.

Have a good day!

1:25pm: don't forget me when you're gone.
starting over today and starting fresh.
step one: clean apartment and make it your own (in the process)
step two: buy groceries that are bad (mostly done, hot cheetos you are death)
step three: say goodbye to someone you love in order to love yourself. (if they aren't willing to back you up then they're no good.)
step four: on pay day buy a new outfit for sxsw. (next week :) )
step five: go see live music everyday next week and having amazing times with friends. (sxsw next week yay!!)


It's time for ME!

7:42pm: failed attempts at new years resolution
So Friday night while I was at work Bryan decided it was time to go and left me. Along with him he took half of the rent payment for this month, a lot of the games, movies I bought, his car, and my heart.

This weekend was possibly the hardest two days ever. I've never lived alone and I am already dreading going home after work.

He is crazy and needs help, help I could not give to him, help he needs for himself.

With that said...

I have already failed at one ny resolution but am doing better at the other ones.

Life goes on.

Rina
Rabbit

10:29pm: new years eve eve
Sitting at work bored out of my mind so decided to update this bloody thing. I doubt anyone reads it but who cares.

So a new year is coming and I'm happy. 2008 was such a mind fuck.

2008
+ quit my job at cvs
+ went around the usa
+ moved in to new apt with b bunny
+ in love with b bunny to the max
+ first baby nephew
+ amazing new tech support job
-losing some friends
-limitied time with family in el paso
-fights with b bunny over silly shit
-lose of interest in things I love

I guess my new years resolution consist of:
- health (lose weight and getting smarter about this shit)
- work on my emotions (being a happy rabbit one moment then turning rabid is no good)
- being a better girl friend to b bunny (sometimes I'm a huge bitch)
- spend time with those I love (I miss some people)
- take a trip (Now is the time)
- motivate myself to get shit done (photography, sewing, etc...)



So with that said, happy new years kids!

<3,
Rina Rabbit

10:14pm: never ending math equation
Sometimes I think I'd be better off alone and by I I mean him. He'd be better off with out me. Im a maniac and it will never stop. He makes me happy but I can't seem to look past the past and just forgive. What is wrong with me?

I was happy to see my family, I'll be sad on Christmas.

4 days til I'm 24

8:07pm: sometimes
I dont know whats wrong with me. He is everything I've ever wanted. After everything now he is amazing. We fight over the stupidest thing ever, it can never be simple. It's always to fucking intense. I dont want to lose him, I can't. I seriously think I need some help, these mood swings are getting worse.

5:27pm: life or something like it
Its been so long since Ive been on this thing.

At work right now, dont think I should be on this but Im done with my tickets and all I want to do is go home and shower.

Life is good right now everything seems to be flowing better then it has in a long long time. The only thing I miss are my family and friends, I have become a hermit since moving to my new apt.

Love is strange bunny and I are finally happy and I dont really know what to do about it. I mean when we aren't happy we wonder why then when we are happy we try to find ways to be unhappy.

time to finish this day.

Hope everyone is well and happy!

<3,
the rabbit

4:42pm: .w.t.f.
so lady time is killing me and turning me into a moody emotional mess. Right now in Rudys pad where I'm staying until I can find my own place. Its hard working a 8-5 without a car and looking for a place to live when everything closes by 6. I just want my damn home now!

i'm missing bryan because i need to be sane. we're moving in together so once it happens I wont feel like the stupidest girl in the world.

my grandma asked me if I wanted to move back to ep. I said no. I finally have an awesome job, about to start at the art institute. All I need is my apt then I can get a car and life will be grand. so she told me to go to church and pray.

help.

rina rabbit

3:01am: distant voices
one of my favorite things to do is talk music. i like to discuss the difference between new and old metallica and the inequivalent. before the black album and st anger is way different dont pretend its not. im wasted. woah!!!!!! wtf, have so much to think about. im in love with someone who invades my brain and heart no matter what. i want to cuddle with him for the rest of my life. i can only hope he feels the same. i got drunk with my neighbors after living here for three years.... bahahahahahaha. free boooze is always rad. i want bunny now!!!!


oh gavin rossdale you are the only thing to mend this heart of mine

6:52pm: arrrg rawr said the rabbit
so much going on. Moving in about a month, kinda stoked about it. Will be bummed not living with the lovely ana, after three years she became one of the closest friends i ever had. Stoked at the possibility of finally being the number 1 lady in bunny's life. We shall see how I fuck this up since he is the mature one and I'm the cry baby... well technically I only act like that when the flow is around during the month but he has changed. He's become less of an ass and more of someone I admire and adore. He motivates me to do my best, makes me laugh and smile, and is everything I've wanted in a a life mate.

Hope to get a new job too, walgreens in the shit hole is driving me insane. So keep your fingers crossed kids.

I totally saw DETHKLOK on Sunday night and it was super ultra mega radical!!! One show I will never forget.

I'm gonna nap, wake up, then play guitar hero.

The End.


<3,
Rina Rabbit

12:43am: forget my name
I will never forgive or forget the last person I was in love with. Tonight he decided he was going to break my heart and tell me he is seeing someone else. After the last months of broken promises, broken windows, and of course a broken heart he has the nerve to see someone else. I don't understand how this could have happened, you love someone and then all of the sudden they date someone else. I've snooped on Myspace and she doesnt seem like anything promising. It doesn't matter I'm better off with out him.

I'm done with you

9:14pm: one night
I became a monster last night, a crying monster. I miss the boy like crazy and I wish I was laying besides him on that small bed, pressing faces together playing staring contest. I hate this feeling. I never wanted long distance because they bring out the worst in me, I become this insecure, pathetic person. So I ended it, even though I knew it would be the death of me. I want to go to el paso kidnap him and start a new life. That will never happen. goddammit!

11:38pm: soo long since
I posted in my dear lj. Been bloggin on myspace and keeping up with my paper journal. Everything is going alright. New job that is ok... great pay and way close to the apt. I do miss the photolab but it will never be the same.

I hate love

that is all..

11:36pm: gloom and how it gets that way
geezzzzuussss busy weekend starts tomorrow. ten hour shift at cvs then to red 7 for the at all cost cd release, gonna write and take pictures but most importantly rock the fuck out. mhm.... it will be lots and lots of fun. the punk rock boy is going with me and he will see how his metal beast tears shit up. R-A-D. but for now I will take ana downtown for a drink or two.... oh dollar thursdays at the whiskey bar, yeah yeah.

I miss my siblings but I might see them sooner then I thought... we shall see suckas!

how is everyone? someone recommend some bands, my ipod is a bore right now and I need something new. I cant wait for the new etid and aild.... YES YES YES!

<3,
rina rabbit

11:31pm: minez
completely smitten by a dirty skating punk rock boy and i havent felt this happy in what seems like forever...

1:10am: wurrrdddd
everything looks like its turning up better then its been these last two months. I ended up staying at CVS after getting a raise. I am happy with my job even though I bitch about it a lot.

11:18pm: loyalty
so today i went to into my place of employment and asked jason to meet me in the back room. The night before I couldn't sleep because I couldn't decide on what to do. After almost 2 years of working to the CVS photo lab on the drag I quit. They've given me the run-around about a lot of things: wages, benefits among the two biggest. I was one of the least paid employees and one of the most valuable; I knew everything in that store, did it well and never did anything half ass. But for some reason the "company" couldn't give me the adequate pay I deserved. The "system" had me under part time which meant I couldn't get holiday pay (time and a half), benefits, or any other perks that come with the full time title. The one of the only reason that kept me from leaving that place was the amazing people I worked with including Jason who became my "big brother." There was nothing I looked forward to then going into work and talking to him about music. He showed me a lot of things I lacked and opened my metal lovin' world up. From what I heard from some coworkers it was the right time to make this decision. I did more than I was ever asked for but always managed to get the short stick out of the stack.

I'll miss alot about that place:
-freedom to listen to music for my 8 hours shift
-no problems with my tattoos and piercings.
-co workers
-working in a great photo lab that was part of a corporation but run like a local shop.
-the experience I got from that place.
-patience cause everyone knows there were a few times I wanted to knock some bitches down.

the end.

12:12am: He's in love with rock'n'roll woaahh
I am totally in love with The Clash. They are fucking amazing in every possible way. I'm ready for the rest of the summer cause right now its going pretty sweet.

Night night kids!

<3,
Rina Rabbit

11:39pm: being single is brutal

9:58pm: sometimes you just gotta let go...

walking all summer is gonna BLOW!

11:09pm: love is a strange animal.

1:40am: all i have to say right now is
its funny how things turn right back around....

10:51pm: :/
busy week full of sadness...

back to work 40+ hours at work.
gilmore girls ended and im sad about that, tuesday nights are free.
danielle went to el paso to spend summer then will be heading to h-town to become something wonderful. she became one of the truest friends i had.
i realized that sometimes people are way to selfish to be considered a friend.


i know my family are the only people i can count on and i get to see them all in a week.
a co worker got my ticket for acl so i would go all three days and is letting me pay him back when i can...:)!!!!!!
acl= austin city limits music fest= 3 days of music; bands I wanna see; MUSE, queens of the stone age, the white stripes and many others.

rose is one of the funniest people ever. pinchi cabrona!


time to watch movies all night